Pride

Last week I notified my fiance that I have started writing a blog. Until that point, there was only one other person who knew about my blog. At this point I am writing for me, so I havent made a big fuss about it on social media.There might be a point when that changes, but for now im not fussed if im the only one who reads it.

I didn’t give him the link to it but did read him one of the posts. He then asked me one simple question “are you proud of your body?

My initial reply was “not really”

For him, this couldn’t be further from the truth. To this day he is amazed at how I grew and birthed a (healthy,happy) child. He often says he still can’t believe it. He said he’s proud of my body for creating our daughter and that the end result is worth it.

Maybe easier for him to say cause it’s not his body, but I know he meant what he said.

This morning I came across this quote and it sparked some thoughts in my head.

“For the stretch marks you wish you didnt have, there is a woman wishing she had one

We weren’t trying to have a baby, it just happened and we felt so blessed that we didn’t spend months trying or spend our pay checks on infertility testing.

We are lucky.

Not everyone who wishes to become a mother or father is so lucky, I must remember this when I look in the mirror.

So this morning, I have decided to be proud of my body for what it accomplished. I was given a gift not everyone will receive.

I do,however, still owe it to my health to persevere in this journey. To continue to make smart choices and be active.

I grew her with the best intentions and now I need to model good health to her as she grows up!

I am proud of my body, it made an amazing gift!

 

The sleep cycle

I am quite proud of myself for my strength in limiting my sugar the past two weeks! I grew up on maple syrup, Im a ‘sugar Cub’, according to my fiancé!

The difficult part has been exercising. You see… I LOVE my sleep. At one point during a womanly check up, my nurse practitioner said to me “you know, it’s normal for adults to be getting 6-8 hours of sleep a night, not 10”.

This was a bit of a worry for me coming into motherhood, how the hell am I going to cope with such little sleep?! Maybe I should look into a nanny? Maybe I will have a baby who sleeps through the night from a young age?

My Bub is almost 7 months and although she is a good sleeper, she still gets up once (nothing to carry on about, I know!). I love the stage she’s at now but just wish I could have a couple of full night sleep!

I was never one to get up and work out in the morning, NEVER. I am an afternoon worker outer or evening if I have to. Somewhere along the way someone told me it’s better to work out later in the day because everything is “open” or “awake” (I can’t remember exactly) , but it was welcomed news! Although, it didn’t matter, I wasn’t going to change!

Exercising whilst in the company of my child doesn’t excite me. I like running…alone. It clears my mind and it does wonders for my body. Unfortunately, I can’t seem to find the time or energy. Mostly energy.

Mornings are unpredictable and by the time I have another set of hands to help in the evening, I’m knackered. A tricky cycle. I probably would have more energy if I exercised but can’t get my butt out the door because I’m too tired.

Writing it down helps, it makes my excuse real.

With any luck, I will make it out the door once this week. Maybe that will be my goal, baby steps!

Guilt

Since giving birth to my daughter in May, I have been a frequent visitor to aisle six….the naughty aisle.

I’ll have that, and that, and that and so on! In the cart the treats went. I couldn’t help myself and would eat it all in a short time span. There was limited thoughts of saving some for tomorrow…. my logic was ‘it’s the same amount of calories, doesn’t matter If I eat it all now or save some for five hours from now’.

The problem??

I’d get more the next time I went.

The thought of a fruit and nut cadbury chocolate bar makes my mouth water, but I haven’t had one since I started this blog 🙂

I would eat my treats and deliciousness with pure joy.  My joy-o-metre was at an all time high whilst eating my treats. No guilt in sight. I am breastfeeding, I need it!

The other day at work, however, there was a box of chocolates in the lunch room. I helped myself…. a couple times…. they were just little!

The difference this time was I felt SO much guilt. Before. During AND After. It caught me by surprise but I knew it was a good thing. My bid to eat less treats was working. My conscience knew that it was not a weekend and I agreed to be good during the week as I ease into this.

Im back at work tomorrow, let’s hope my conscience slaps me on the wrist before I reach for the chocolate!