Sensible panties

I am not oblivious to the fact that this a long journey. I am not interested in a quick fix, I am ready to sweat for it, slowly.

When I got dressed this morning , I put on my sensible panties, as my fiancĂ© calls them. No lace, no butt wedgie, just full back, comfy cotton briefs. I looked in the mirror and thought… hmmm, that looks better.

That’s when it hit me.

My usual style might need a substitute while I get things back on track. I love my little lace thong nothings. Or I used to. For now, however, they aren’t helping my cause. My full back briefs are not only comfortable, they are flattering. They made me feel good, and that’s important. This doesn’t mean I think they can hide the work that needs to be done, but they give me my confidence back while I work away at it.

This change in my norm will also apply to my summer dresses I would often wear. They are making me feel bad, but not in a good way. So, I’ve started wearing more shorts and shirts. This suits my body type at the moment and I’m okay with that.

The dresses aren’t going anywhere, nor are my itty bitties, I will wear them again soon. For now though, it’s time to be sensible.

 

Mirror mirror on the wall

The beginning is a long way back, so let’s try from May 2015.

I was never skinny, nor obese. I’ve just always been a solid girl. Or that’s how I saw myself. But in May I decided I really wanted to get in shape and slim down. I started personal training and was seeing results. I was training with a friend and a few moms who were trying to get their pre-baby bodies back. They weren’t skinny either, but their mental strength was admirable. I often told them they had super mom strength.

My renewed confidence led to less clothing, which to our surprise, led to me falling prgnant in August. I knew working out was a bad idea 😉

I felt terrible and stopped working out. By the time I felt half decent I was too far gone to get back into such rigorous training.

Fast forward to January, my fiancé and I moved houses, yes while 6-7 months pregnant I moved, terrible idea! We loved our new place and settled in quickly.

The new place is great, but it lacked one important item…. a full length mirror. Our old place was filled with closets with mirrored doors, you couldn’t avoid looking at yourself if you tried. I didn’t think of it at the time, but that was a good thing.

From February till November I saw myself in full length maybe a half dozen times. This was not good. You see, it’s important to be confronted with poor health, even if it’s yucky. I didn’t have a realty check for the last three months of my pregnancy or the first 6 months post baby.

I kept saying to my fiancĂ© that I wanted to get one but never didn’t anything about it, until last week. I have had a mirror for one week and it’s already working.  I have eaten A LOT of chocolate and lollies since the arrival of my Bub. More than I ate during  my pregnancy ten fold. I can’t go to the store without getting a treat. I’m blaming breastfeeding, but I don’t know if I can get away with that in two years time!

I looked in the mirror today before my shower and thought … ugh what have I done, but don’t worry, it’s a good sort of dissatisfaction. It’s not about my weight, it’s about my health. I don’t look healthy, nor do I feel it.

Its hard to stand there and really look at yourself stark naked with a tummy full of fading stretch marks and loose skin, but it’s important. It’s part of the process, and I embrace it. I’m mad a myself for not buying a mirror earlier.

Go do it! Stand there, in different angles and poses, and ask yourself if you look healthy. Not fat, healthy.