The beginning is a long way back, so let’s try from May 2015.
I was never skinny, nor obese. I’ve just always been a solid girl. Or that’s how I saw myself. But in May I decided I really wanted to get in shape and slim down. I started personal training and was seeing results. I was training with a friend and a few moms who were trying to get their pre-baby bodies back. They weren’t skinny either, but their mental strength was admirable. I often told them they had super mom strength.
My renewed confidence led to less clothing, which to our surprise, led to me falling prgnant in August. I knew working out was a bad idea 😉
I felt terrible and stopped working out. By the time I felt half decent I was too far gone to get back into such rigorous training.
Fast forward to January, my fiancé and I moved houses, yes while 6-7 months pregnant I moved, terrible idea! We loved our new place and settled in quickly.
The new place is great, but it lacked one important item…. a full length mirror. Our old place was filled with closets with mirrored doors, you couldn’t avoid looking at yourself if you tried. I didn’t think of it at the time, but that was a good thing.
From February till November I saw myself in full length maybe a half dozen times. This was not good. You see, it’s important to be confronted with poor health, even if it’s yucky. I didn’t have a realty check for the last three months of my pregnancy or the first 6 months post baby.
I kept saying to my fiancé that I wanted to get one but never didn’t anything about it, until last week. I have had a mirror for one week and it’s already working. I have eaten A LOT of chocolate and lollies since the arrival of my Bub. More than I ate during my pregnancy ten fold. I can’t go to the store without getting a treat. I’m blaming breastfeeding, but I don’t know if I can get away with that in two years time!
I looked in the mirror today before my shower and thought … ugh what have I done, but don’t worry, it’s a good sort of dissatisfaction. It’s not about my weight, it’s about my health. I don’t look healthy, nor do I feel it.
Its hard to stand there and really look at yourself stark naked with a tummy full of fading stretch marks and loose skin, but it’s important. It’s part of the process, and I embrace it. I’m mad a myself for not buying a mirror earlier.
Go do it! Stand there, in different angles and poses, and ask yourself if you look healthy. Not fat, healthy.