Health

Last week I notified my fiance that I have started writing a blog. Until that point, there was only one other person who knew about my blog. At this point I am writing for me, so I havent made a big fuss about it on social media.There might be a point when that changes, but for now im not fussed if im the only one who reads it.

I didn’t give him the link to it but did read him one of the posts. He then asked me one simple question “are you proud of your body?”

My initial reply was “not really”

For him, this couldn’t be further from the truth. To this day he is amazed at how I grew and birthed a (healthy,happy) child. He often says he still can’t believe it. He said he’s proud of my body for creating our daughter and that the end result is worth it.

Maybe easier for him to say cause it’s not his body, but I know he meant what he said.

This morning I came across this quote and it sparked some thoughts in my head.

“For the stretch marks you wish you didnt have, there is a woman wishing she had one”

We weren’t trying to have a baby, it just happened and we felt so blessed that we didn’t spend months trying or spend our pay checks on infertility testing.

We are lucky.

Not everyone who wishes to become a mother or father is so lucky, I must remember this when I look in the mirror.

So this morning, I have decided to be proud of my body for what it accomplished. I was given a gift not everyone will receive.

I do,however, still owe it to my health to persevere in this journey. To continue to make smart choices and be active.

I grew her with the best intentions and now I need to model good health to her as she grows up!

I am proud of my body, it made an amazing gift!

The beginning is a long way back, so let’s try from May 2015.

I was never skinny, nor obese. I’ve just always been a solid girl. Or that’s how I saw myself. But in May I decided I really wanted to get in shape and slim down. I started personal training and was seeing results. I was training with a friend and a few moms who were trying to get their pre-baby bodies back. They weren’t skinny either, but their mental strength was admirable. I often told them they had super mom strength.

My renewed confidence led to less clothing, which to our surprise, led to me falling prgnant in August. I knew working out was a bad idea 😉

I felt terrible and stopped working out. By the time I felt half decent I was too far gone to get back into such rigorous training.

Fast forward to January, my fiancé and I moved houses, yes while 6-7 months pregnant I moved, terrible idea! We loved our new place and settled in quickly.

The new place is great, but it lacked one important item…. a full length mirror. Our old place was filled with closets with mirrored doors, you couldn’t avoid looking at yourself if you tried. I didn’t think of it at the time, but that was a good thing.

From February till November I saw myself in full length maybe a half dozen times. This was not good. You see, it’s important to be confronted with poor health, even if it’s yucky. I didn’t have a realty check for the last three months of my pregnancy or the first 6 months post baby.

I kept saying to my fiancé that I wanted to get one but never didn’t anything about it, until last week. I have had a mirror for one week and it’s already working. I have eaten A LOT of chocolate and lollies since the arrival of my Bub. More than I ate during my pregnancy ten fold. I can’t go to the store without getting a treat. I’m blaming breastfeeding, but I don’t know if I can get away with that in two years time!

I looked in the mirror today before my shower and thought … ugh what have I done, but don’t worry, it’s a good sort of dissatisfaction. It’s not about my weight, it’s about my health. I don’t look healthy, nor do I feel it.

Its hard to stand there and really look at yourself stark naked with a tummy full of fading stretch marks and loose skin, but it’s important. It’s part of the process, and I embrace it. I’m mad a myself for not buying a mirror earlier.

Go do it! Stand there, in different angles and poses, and ask yourself if you look healthy. Not fat, healthy.

Site Title

Pride

Mirror mirror on the wall